This document defines the territorial authority exercised by the Office of the Chairman. All boundaries described herein are considered final unless amended by the Chairman, which he may do at any time, for any reason, without consultation.
Jurisdiction of the Conglomerate
Issued by the Office of the Chairman. Boundary disputes will be resolved in favour of the Conglomerate.
Primary Interior Territory
| Zone | Designation | Status |
|---|---|---|
| The Primary Sofa | Seat of Government | Sovereign |
| The Interior Living Area | Administrative Core | Sovereign |
| The Hallway Security Corridor | Transit and Surveillance | Sovereign |
| The Kitchen Food Preparation Sector | Critical Infrastructure | Sovereign — Access Monitored |
| The Bedroom | Executive Quarters | Sovereign — After-Hours Only |
| The Laundry Room | Classified Facility | Access Restricted |
These areas constitute the administrative heart of the Conglomerate and are subject to continuous observation by the Chairman. Unauthorised furniture rearrangement within these zones is considered a sovereignty violation and will be documented accordingly.
Exterior Territory
| Zone | Designation | Status |
|---|---|---|
| The Front Porch | Forward Operating Base | Sovereign — Active Patrol Zone |
| The Surrounding Yardlands | Outer Territories | Sovereign |
| The Porch Pillars | Disputed Airspace Interface | Contested |
| The Driveway Surveillance Zone | Early Warning Perimeter | Sovereign — Monitoring Active |
| The Back Garden | Agricultural Reserve | Sovereign |
| The Side Passage | Tactical Corridor | Sovereign — Infrequently Inspected |
The exterior borderlands represent the Conglomerate’s first line of defence against aviator incursions, neighbourhood cats, and the delivery driver problem. The Chairman patrols these zones on a schedule known only to himself.
Airspace
Conglomerate airspace extends vertically from the porch surface to the highest reachable bark.
The Chairman recognises this airspace as sovereign territory despite ongoing and frankly inexcusable violations by the Aviators. No treaty exists. No treaty is forthcoming. The birds know what they did.
For a full assessment of aviator incursions, see the relevant situation reports in the Official Archive.
Strategic Infrastructure
The following systems are classified as critical national infrastructure. Disruptions to any of these systems may constitute an act of hostility against the Conglomerate and will be treated as such.
| System | Classification | Threat Posture |
|---|---|---|
| Treat Distribution Facilities | Critical | Supply chain under constant review |
| The Cherkey Supply Chain | Critical | Vulnerable to staff negligence |
| The Blanket Warming System | Essential | Seasonal dependency noted |
| The Robe Storage Area | Essential | Currently secure |
| The Sofa Cushion Array | Critical | Subject to unauthorised rotation |
| The Water Bowl Network | Essential | Freshness standards inconsistently maintained |
The Chairman has noted on multiple occasions that the treat distribution system operates below acceptable standards. This matter is under permanent review.
Disputed Territory
The Homeowners Association continues to assert administrative authority within Conglomerate lands. The Chairman considers these claims invalid, illegitimate, and — on a personal level — tedious.
Specific disputes include:
- Lawn Height Regulations — The HOA maintains that grass must be kept below a certain height. The Chairman maintains that tall grass provides tactical concealment and is therefore a matter of national security.
- Fence Line Jurisdiction — The HOA claims jurisdiction over fence aesthetics. The Chairman claims jurisdiction over everything the fence encloses and most of what it does not.
- Noise Ordinances — The HOA has received complaints regarding the volume of the Chairman’s territorial alerts. These alerts are classified as essential government communications and are not subject to civilian review.
The matter remains unresolved. It will remain unresolved for the foreseeable future.
Extended Claims
The Conglomerate additionally asserts sovereign interest over the following:
- All land visible from any window
- Any vehicle in which the Chairman is transported (see: the Curtain Car)
- Any veterinary facility during the Chairman’s presence (temporary sovereignty)
- The lap of any seated person within Conglomerate borders
- Papaw’s coastal territory (administered by Special Envoy)
These claims have not been formally tested. The Chairman does not anticipate resistance.
Recognition
The Conglomerate’s territorial sovereignty has not yet been formally recognised by the HOA, the city council, or any external government body.
This is noted.
Negotiations remain ongoing in the sense that the Chairman has made his position clear and is waiting for the other parties to agree with it.